I’m approaching my 39th week, and this baby appears to be very comfortable in my womb and not at all anxious to face the realities of everyday life.

I won’t lie to you; there have been times during my pregnancy (including now) in which the emotions of fear, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed have usurped me like an overreaching tidal wave.

Could I do it? Will I have enough help?

If there is one thing I have learned throughout these past nine months, it is the following: I cannot compare myself, nor should I be, comparing myself to other mothers.

Nor should you, as a full-time caregiver.

You’ve more than likely experienced these types of situations in the past. Other mothers will share their “war stories” with you, “I worked up to the morning of my delivery date.” “My pregnancy was so easy. I never got sick. My tummy just got big.”

And other caregivers will want to do the same.

But, they are not you, and they do not share the exact same schedule or needs as you. Of course, it is very helpful to attend caregiver support groups to learn and gain strength from others who are also experiencing the pressures of caregiving. But everyone is different, everyone has their own breaking point.

The bottom line is: If you need help, get it. There is no award for being a martyr.

Sometimes, situations seem more manageable when you have a list of resources in front of you. Therefore, here are just a few of the caregiver resources I’ve highlighted in my bi-weekly columns:

· The South Jersey Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, www.alz.org or 1-800-272-3900.
· Delaware Valley Stroke Council, www.phillystroke.org or 215-772-9040.
· Your local Office on Aging, 1-877-222-3737.
· Samost Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Camden, Burlington, and Gloucester Counties, www.jfcssnj.org or 856-424-1333.
· Senior Citizens for United Community Services of Camden County, www.scucs.org or 856-456-1121.
· CONTACT Helpline of Camden and Gloucester Counties, www.contacthelplines.org or 1-877-266-8222.
· CONTACT Helpline of Burlington County, www.co.burlington.nj.us/contact/ or 1-866-234-5006.
· Project Lifesaver for those at risk of wandering due to Alzheimer’s or dementia, www.camdencounty.com/sheriff/ or 1-877-222-3737.
· H.O.P.E. or Helping Other People Evolve through grief counseling, www.hopesnj.org or 1-888-920-2201.
· Insurance counseling through the State Health Insurance Assistance Program via your local Office on Aging, 1-877-222-3737.
· Elder and disability law attorneys, www.naela.org.
· Private geriatric care managers, www.caremanager.org
· Elder and disability law attorneys with private geriatric care managers on staff, www.lcplfa.org.
· Social workers, www.socialworkers.org.

I’ll probably be writing my next column from the labor and delivery room at the local hospital. In the meantime, please don’t beat yourself up or give yourself grief for not being the “perfect” caregiver – whatever that means.