Change is a funny word. Change could be good or bad.

As the caregiver for your elderly parents or spouse, the word “change” doesn’t seem to capture all of the transitions that accompany this new caregiver lifestyle.

You become engulfed with day-to-day tasks, and work or other aspects of your life that were stressors in the past appear trivial. Your own errands or pleasures, such as trips to the barber, hairdresser, grocery store, or even the movies fall to the wayside and end up at the bottom of your list.

How do you cope with such change in your daily lifestyle?

Growing up in your parents’ household, your parents appeared invincible. Now, they appear weak and frail. How do you honor your parents’ past accomplishments and current strengths, while also acknowledging that they are not the physically strong individuals that they once were?

How do you grieve for your loved one that has dementia? The two of you were like peas in a pod, and all of a sudden they can’t remember your name or the name of your children.

· For me, I could not survive my daily role as a caregiver, daughter, wife, expectant mother, and full-time employee of a demanding law firm without this column. Writing about and sharing my thoughts and hardships with you on a bi-weekly basis has been priceless. That is why many caregivers like myself have picked up the mighty pen or identified caregiver groups on the Internet, so they could write about and share their thoughts with others.

· Strength comes in numbers. The Alzheimer’s Association and the American Cancer Society keep an updated list of caregiver support groups on their website for your reference. You would be surprised to learn that you are not the only one who is grieving for a loved one or who is searching for strategies on how to care for a loved one who “sun-downs.”

· Meditation or prayer. After a long day of fighting with my boss and having to deal with the overpowering nausea that accompanies motherhood, I spend at least a half an hour listening to classical music and meditating before I go to bed at night.

As a spiritual person, I also spend that time identifying and “journaling” what I was thankful for that day. For example, I am grateful for another day spent with my parents and family, the food on my table, the shelter above my bed, and the clothes on my back.

This half hour of meditation helps to bring perspective and order to my sometimes-chaotic life.

Think about investing at least 30 minutes to yourself, whether it be through meditation, “journaling,” or attending a caregiver support. Investing in yourself will give you the strength for another day of caring for others.

Resources for area support groups:

· Alzheimer’s Association – www.alz.org, 1-800-272-3900 24-hour helpine.
· American Cancer Society – www.cancer.org, 856-616-1650 South Jersey Region. Office
· National Parkinson Foundation – www.parkinson.org, 1-800-327-4545.